Welcome to a one-off blog as it's easier to use this format rather than cram everything into a Facebook post, which also explains why some of my previous FB posts have been deleted, as I didn't want to duplicate any of my comments. I did say that I'd not be writing for a while, which is still my intention...but this blog is just a brief overview of what's been happening with regards to my decision making.
"Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen,
And keep your eyes wide, the chance won't come again,
And don't speak too soon, for the wheels still in spin,
And there's no tellin' who that it's namin',
For the loser now will be later to win,
For the times they are a-changin'..."
~ Bob Dylan
The title and Dylan lyrics are very relevant to my current status, as indeed the times they are a-changin'.
Personally and financially it's proved to be quite a challenging year so far, and this has caused me to take stock of a few issues in my life and make some neccesary changes.
On a personal level I've finally come to terms with my ex-girlfriends untimely passing, and I have been striving to look forward to a brighter future, whilst also trying to live in the 'now' and have some fun.
I had hoped that after getting over Louise's death that I would have been able to move on, and I'm sure once I meet that special, new lady then this healing process will be complete. But I am settled both at home and at work, so I have a lot to be grateful for, especially after what I've been through and where I've come from. I did think that I had met that very precious someone, but alas her feelings weren't reciprocated.
So although all that's missing with my life is the love of a good woman, I am not going to dwell on it too much. I know that I've been guilty of looking for love too much rather than letting it find me. I also know that I care too much sometimes, and that I try too hard to please too. The aim is to remain my old hopeless romantical self, whilst not being so open and exposed as in the recent past by wearing my heart on my sleeve all the time...when love is meant to be, it will find me in its' own good time?
So that is part of my changing ways.
The other aspect which needs serious attention are my finances!
Last August I moved into my own apartment which was totally amazing, as I had been sharing a home for the previous four years. I love the space that this affords me, but financially it has proved quite tight to live.
But what price can you put on independence, and the comfort of your own space?
My issue is that I only have a small monthly disposable budget, and my problem is that I blow it all over the first weekend after payday! I'm not complaining as I have a good time, but I really need to start spreading this budget over the whole month...which is what I will be doing come June 20th.
This financial struggle should only last for a few more years, as I will then be completely debt free and can even start planning for an early retirement!
Just after next payday I have a week off to look forward to, where I can recharge my batteries and pick myself up a little, as I've been feeling a little bit downhearted and disillusioned of late, although I'm sure it's just a temporary condition due to tiredness and fatigue. I'm also continually battling with my demons such as wrestling my desire to achieve a simplistic way of life, whilst competing with a complex state of mind...this is all part of the changing times that I am referring to, and that I intend to put into place in my life. As the additional picture below highlights, the signpost is all about finding a healthy work/life balance.
During this week I hope to meet up with my dear friend, Elona for lunch one day in Theale (Berkshire), as she remains a constant in my life, and she is someone who I will be forever indebted to as she helped me out when I was at my lowest ebb a few years ago.
My other main plan for the week is to combine some rest and relaxation alongside some training for my next adventure...as my good mate Chappers and myself intend to undertake an epic charity event in May 2014: walking 250 miles from Lands End along The South West Coastal Path!
Later in the year there will be a new series of blogs, to support this campaign so please watch this space...
Until then, may I wish you all well & a very happy summer.
Steve M
