A Change Of Heart

A New Year always brings new hopes, new dreams, a new dawn, and the possibility of a new start...
I wasn't expecting to write another blog so soon, but something magical has happened in my life, which I want to share, and which has totally turned my life upside down!

As I previously wrote I thought I'd remain an eligible batchelor for life, and be a single guy forever. This was borne out of the knowledge of an unhappy past, ranging from a troubled, abusive long-term relationship, to my most recent girlfriend who tragically passed away with terminal cancer. But rather than be a cynic, I wanted to keep faith with the belief that true love would find me again one day...it's just that I was being realistic in thinking that it would never actually happen to me.

I may be an old, hopeless romantic...but even this optimist has to have a reality check sometimes!

So imagine my suprise when completely out-of-the blue, an angel enters my life who completely changes my perspective on love and on life; a beautiful girl who loves me for who I am and actually wants to be by my side forever and ever!
These feelings and sentiments are totally reciprocated, and I know that she is 'The One' for me♥
She is on my mind constantly, she has consumed my thoughts, and my whole life has changed.
My heart beats only for her, and right now it is aching as it is being torn apart by a sudden change of events.
Because the trouble is that she's just read my previous blog and is now having doubts as to whether I am being sincere with my change of heart, and whether I can honestly commit to a loving relationship.
The truth is that I know that I can, and I aim to prove it to her!
All I can say is that my love for her is real, and that my love for her is true...so Kylie, if you're reading this please know that I am serious when I say that I love you, and I'm happy for the whole world to know how happy you make me feel ~ please be mine forever & let me show you just how much you mean to me♥

If we both want it bad enough, then I know we can make it work.
If it's meant to be then it will happen, as love does indeed move in mysterious ways.

Let's hope that 2013 proves to be the year when both my new love and myself find true happinesss...I will be keeping my fingers crossed, and I really hope that all of our dreams come true?♥


Steve M.

Tales From My 40's...So Far!

My adult life can be seperated quite distinctly by the various decades...
My 20's were taken up by learning the harsh realities of life; a mortgage; domestic bliss (not!); a loveless relationship; bills, debts and all the encompassing trials & tribulations etc..
My 30's were all about rediscovering my independence and getting on with my life; by relocating time-and-time again, and just generally finding a place where I felt I could belong.
And my 40's were/are a complete mixed bag, full of highs 'n' lows, ups 'n' downs...

I celebrated my 40th birthday amongst friends in Ireland (pictured).
It wasn't a big party, but I used the occassion to get a lot of my Irish pals together, and had a few English mates fly over with me too.
We hired a massive house out for the weekend in a beautiful little fishing village called Ring, situated in West Cork, and much fun was had by all.
The rest of that year was taken up with my planning for the future, saving hard and making good a wish to move to a place I had longed fancied living in - Cheltenham.
I spent seven very happy months living in the swanky part of the town called Montpelier, and enjoyed a great lifestyle for a while.

My 41st birthday preceeded my first visit to the wonder that is New Zealand...and that pretty much took up the first part of that year, as a second trip followed shortly afterwards.
The rest of that year was a real downer; events which I have written about already, but hope sprang eternal on my 42nd birthday.
Reaching 42 was a fresh start, as on my birthday I received a job offer, and I finally began the process of consolidating all my finances enabling me to move on with my life. This took up much of the following year, so it wasn't until I hit the ripe old age off 44 that my next target came into focus, which was to get my own place once again.
Finally, I achieved this in August of this year - my first apartment for four years, and this made me a very happy man.

As to now and the present at the ripe old age of 45 ~ well, what can I say...

"Some of us want a fast car, some of us want to stand and gaze.
 Some of us pine for the great outdoors, some of us won't leave the house for days.
 Some of us have died for their freedom, some are quite happy in the cage.
 Some think a wild time is what they want at night,
 But freedom to sleep would be complete delight..."

At 45 I find myself like this...
I'm a happy-go-lucky, optimistic, hopeless romantic who has finally fallen on my feet :)
I don't want much in life; maybe a cure for my insomnia would be nice!
I only ever had a few ambitions and dreams, and I know that I've been fortunate to realise them.
This series of blogs is supposed to concentrate on some of my personal stories, but although I could regale some tales it would go against the principle that I hold dear...which is gentlemen never 'kiss-and-tell', because most of my potential stories from my 40's would involve one lady or another! Lol.
This decade so far has involved some romance, but essentially I have loved and lost (literally).
The other subject matter which has dominated my 40's has been my adventures in New Zealand...but I think I've exhausted these stories now.
Moving home to a lovely apartment in a peaceful part of town (Chichester) has proved to be the perfect tonic for me at this time of my life.
It resembles a fresh start, so life is indeed very good.
After a couple of minor heartbreaks and setbacks, I've come to the conclusion that it's probably best for me to remain an eligible batchelor, and the fact that for once I've actually got some money in my wallet is a wonderful feeling which allows me to enjoy an even happier lifestyle.
Many thanks to my mates for enriching me with an active social life, and much gratitude is sent to all my friends who I'm fortunate to enjoy some lunchtimes with, where we can share a laugh and a smile...you all contribute in making me a very happy fella!
Also special thanks to three friends who have always been there for me, no matter where they actually live:
Elona, Trace, and The TWL!♥

So at the risk of disappointing you, it's time to bid you all fareful for 2012.
Due to a current heavy workload and a busy schedule over the forthcoming festive season, this will be my last blog until the New Year...but may I wish you all a wonderful Christmas & thank you for all of your continual support.

Peace to you all ♥

Steve M





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Tales From The Downs

After last weeks rather heavy subject matter, I thought I'd lighten the mood with a happy recollection of the Cancer Research UK charity walk undertaken seven months ago.
When three friends and myself succesfully completed the trek of the entire length of The South Downs Way, we agreed to abide to the principle of 'what goes on tour, stays on tour'...but I must confess that a few private stories have since leaked out amongst our closest friends!
Some tales will forever stay with us only, but there are a few instances which can be shared here today, which wouldn't offend any of us, and hopefully will raise a few laughs. Don't worry Curph, Chappers & Oakers...some secrets I'm taking to the grave! Lol.
The other purpose of this blog is to start a campaign for Chappers to pull his finger out and sort out the video footage of our experiences! ~ but more about that later...

I previously gave an account of our trek in the blog entitled, 'Taken To The Limit' in my 'Ramblin' Man!' series, which can be found in the archives on the right hand margin under my complete profile.
That piece was written in the immediate aftermath of the event, when emotions were still running high...and our bodies were still getting over the shock of walking over 100 miles in weather and terrain that had to be experienced to be believed!
However, seven months later and our perspectives have changed a little, as we now mainly remember only the good things about the week, and the reasoning that we did it for a good cause. We all immediately stated that we'd never do something like this again...but that sentiment is slowly softening, so you never know?
At the last check we had raised around £3,500 between the four of us, and my link to my 'Just Giving' sponsorship page is below should anyone like to make a further donation whilst the account remains active.

 http://www.justgiving.com/SteveMuskett27010

I think we all as individuals had our own personal agenda's for participating in this walk, but it wouldn't be right for me to disclose any reasons why for the other lads, apart from the fact that they did it to support me. All I know from my own personal point of view was that I had a justified reason with a certain person in mind, and I hope that I did her proud. On the final day when we hit the promenade in Eastbourne, I purposely held back from the others a little so that I could take it all in...it was a very emotional conclusion at the end of a very long journey, and I can't deny shedding a tear or two.

But rather than dwelling on some of the overwhelming emotions of that incredible week, I'd prefer to regale you with a couple of tales which will hopefully make you laugh, or maybe even beggar to disbelieve?
The two particular stories that I'd like to recall both happened after experiencing really tough days of trekking, and what makes them memorable is the contrast in emotions from recovering from our efforts to enjoying the craik, the banter, and the camaraderie amongst ourselves immediately afterwards.
Well, when I say immediately afterwards the first tale actually carried over to the following morning!
After such a testing Monday walking in continual rain, and over rough terrain, we all collapsed late that night and before we realised it we were back on the trail on Tuesday morning, without having an opportunity to take stock of the previous days events. What joy we had though, as the rain stopped and bright sunshine greeted us for the whole day, which immediately put us all in a good mood.
As we strolled through a field of bright yellow rape seed, I had just taken a photo of Curph (please see attached below) who was first in line, then it was me, Oakers was next, and bringing up the rear was Chappers, when we were suddenly confronted by the most surreal of sights...
Just emerging over a slight rise in the field came a granny on a motorised scooter!
We all stood there in stunned silence and amazement, as first she went past us, followed immediately by another, then a third, and finally a fourth! It was the most surreal moment of the week, and none of us had the inclination to capture this moment on camera...except Chappers!
Now the reason that Chappers was bringing up the rear was because he had his camcorder out in his vain efforts to be the next Martin Scorsese, or was it David Attenborough? Lol.
He had the great idea to keep a video diary of the week, and his narrative may prove to be inspired...but we still don't know as seven months on we're still waiting for the footage to be edited and uploaded for all to see...pull your finger out Chappers! Hence my call for the campaign to lobby for 'The South Downs Way Video Diaries' to be published...maybe you can all join my cause?
Now I think what would work especially well for this incident with the four grannies on their scooters, is to set the scene with the music of 'Ride of the Valkeries' akin to something similar from 'Apocalypse Now', just as they emerge over the horizon...

The second and final tale isn't as surreal, but looking back the memories and visions that we conjure up on reflection does make us all laugh, and if anyone else was to see us at that particular moment, they would probably run for cover!
It relates to a tough Wednesday walk when mercifully the overnight rain had ceased to exist, but in it's place was the most vicious biting and howling wind, which made climbing and descending hills very, very difficult. Midway through the morning I felt my right knee beginning to suffer under the strain, Chappers popped a groin, Oakers had a long-standing problem with one of his knees, and Curph had severely swollen shins and ankles!
So visualise the image if you can, once the day had finished of all four of us spread out in one room watching the football on TV, sharing a few tinnies, whilst at the same time we were all nursing various parts of our anatomy with self-made ice-packs...additionally with Chappers and me wrapped up in fancy dressing gowns kindly donated by our lovely hostess for the night at the B&B we were staying at!
It wasn't a pretty sight, I can assure you of that!
Incredibly the following morning after a hearty breakfast, we all took to the trail completely invigorated and recovered from our assorted ailments and injuries...Oh, the power of an ice-pack on your privates!

"Above all do not lose your desire to walk: every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness; I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it..." ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Next week: 'Tales From My 40's...So Far!'...

Steve M