Tales From The Bottle

After a two week break catching up on some much needed rest, and coming to terms with the sad news that my ex-girlfriend finally lost her brave fight with cancer, I had intended to return with a witty and humourous blog regaling tall tales from drunken antics, and fun nights out.
Unfortunately, during this period I became ill with the same chest pains that I experienced a year ago, and I found that this gave me a totally different perspective on what I wanted to write about, and I swear the pain that I was feeling was actually caused by my heart breaking on hearing the sad news about my ex.
The doctors prescribed the medication to repair the damage caused to the lining of my internal chest walls, my stomach, and my oesophagus, and I'm pleased to say that the meds are slowly kicking-in. This has meant though that booze is off the agenda for the forseeable future, and my diet has been greatly altered.
I had prepared an initial draft of this blog containing drunken stories, but when I read it back I didn't feel a sense of fun or humour, but more a feeling of embarrassment and shame.
After all, there isn't anything particularly funny about waking up after the night before with bloodied kness and holes in your trousers, and coming to the conclusion that you must've crawled home...is there?
Or, of being so drunk and disorderly after a demon cocktail of pills and booze, that you collapse in the street and end up in the local infirmary on suicide watch! Not very clever, is it?

"The wrong side of a lifetime's wishing thinking drove me here to pills and ale,
 come and listen, come and listen to my tale..."

Fortunately these two incidents are extreme examples, but they did make me think and take stock of my life. I'm 45 now, and I can no longer keep up with the kids, so I guess it's time to accept this fact and act my age. I like to think with the exception of these two incidents, that I am generally a very happy drunk when I've been out on the gigglejuice (as my great kiwi pal, The TWL fondly calls it!), but I do often feel very nostalgic about past romances, and it's quite common for me to send a soppy text message or facebook messages when I am in this state. So hopefully now that these boozy nights are a thing of the past, then the unfortunate recipients of said messages need worry no more? My sincerest apologies to anyone who has ever been contacted in these circumstances.

One funny little incident which I'm happy to recall however, as it shows that I wasn't as drunk as first envisaged, happened just over a year ago. I was out with friends and colleagues straight from work on a Friday night, and had lasted the pace right upto midnight (not bad for an old fella like me!), when I suddenly became aware that it was definitely time to call it a night!
Why, you may well ask?
Well, I was convinced that I must've been so drunk, because when I had been admiring a lovely lady across the bar I realised that I could see two of her!!!
Hindsight is a wonderful thing...about a week later I discovered that this lovely lady was actually out on the town with her identical twin sister!!!
Maybe had I been a little more observant I would have noticed, and had the courage to go to talk to them...'erm, I mean talk to her!

I'm currently back on the coffee, smoothie, oats and porridge diet, due to my ill health, and alcohol is off limits for the time being, so at least I should be able to sustain a healthier living lifestyle. In time I will no doubt enjoy the odd beer or shot of Jack, but these occassions will be few and far between.
This lifestyle change may result in a rather reclusive and hermit-like existence for a while, but with all that's happened recently, this suits me just fine.
I intend to keep myself-to-myself, with the exception of these weekly blogs...next up is 'Tales From The Open Road'.
Please don't worry if I appear a little less communicative...it's just my way of dealing with things.

Until next week, be safe & take care.

Steve M